Smoke Signals

This morning I received an email requesting that we put a "wifi" hotspot in a common room on the first floor of our building. The room is also located on a different side of the building than our office. Apparently we sometimes use the room for presentations and network access would be helpful. I'd like to point out that we don't own the building and our office is on the third floor.

My response was that it is not really possible. A long series of emails ensued where I answered questions like why can't we run a cable from the 3rd floor down to that room? Yes, let's put a direct connection to our network in a public area, so anyone can come in and get onto our LAN. Maybe we could send an email to our competitors telling them that we've made a connection available for the public use. Or we could just put a sign in the lobby of the building that says "Hack Us".

If completely necessary, we could actually put a series of repeaters throughout the building, but since we don't own it and we are talking about 2 floors and a long distance... In the end, I had to explain the wireless is like a cordless phone.

Yes. A cordless phone doesn't need a wire, but the base still plugs into the phone jack. The wireless router is the base and requires a physical network connection. The phone doesn't need a wire, but you can only walk so far from the base before the signal is too weak. Your laptop can only be so far from the base before you can't connect.

I realize that sometimes wireless is a difficult concept to grasp, but do people really think that connections just materialize out of thin air. Plug in a wireless box anywhere and you can connect? ---Like smoke signals, light it up and everyone can see it. The Indians had it right, I think. Wireless is just too dang difficult.

404

I found this word on Buzzwhack.com. It is a derogatory term to describe someone who is clueless. Derived from the annoying error message you get when browsing the web, 404: Page Not Found.

Unfortunately it reminds me of many of the people I deal with on a regular basis at work. Yesterday in fact, I spoke to a 404. I'm not sure if that is accurate. I personally feel he is indeed a 404, especially when it comes to anything computer related; however, there is another issue at hand.

Sometimes the problem isn't so much cluelessness, but the inability to explain something in a way that makes even remote sense technically. Often times it is a simple problem, but I can't even understand the question being asked. There is this insane gap of technical knowledge between some users and me. Once in awhile it is difficult for me to cross the bridge and figure out what in the hell they are trying to say.

Yesterday went something like this:

L: Ummm, when I am at home I can't see my Outlook messages.

M: (Puzzled look) At home you use Outlook Web Access to get your mail?

L: Yes.

M: You can't open Outlook Web Access at home?

L: No, it works fine.

M: What is the issue then?

L: When I am at home, I don't see my Outlook messages.

M: Are you using Outlook Web Access at home?

L: No.

M: Ok, so this is your personal email?

L: Yes

M: So when you send messages from work to home you don't receive them?

L: Yes.

The conversation could have started out with: When I send an email from the office to home, I never receive it. Instead I got, "when I am at home I can't see my Outlook messages." 10 minutes wasted just figuring out what I was being asked. Amazing, isn't it?

What was even more interesting about this is that he doesn't receive any error messages bouncing back and our mail server says it was sent successfully.

Mission Control

This an oldy, but goody. It happened at my previous job.

I received a call from a VP in one of our branch locations because he needed some help using an Act database. He wanted to know how to select multiple contacts. My thoughts: "Yay, an easy call."

First, I explain that he simply needs to hold down ctrl while selecting multiple contacts from the list. I wait, fully expecting him to tell me he is all set.

Unfortunately the call goes something like this:

VP: "It isn't working."

Me: "What do you mean."

VP: "I'm clicking, but it is not selecting more than one."

Me: "Ok, let's do this one step at a time. Select your first contact."

VP: "Ok"

Me: "Hold down the Ctrl key."

VP: "Ok"

Me: "Select another contact."

VP: "It didn't work."

Me: "Let's try again. Select your first contact."

VP: "Ok"

Me: "Is it highlighted in blue?"

VP: "No, it is grey."

Me: "Did you change your color scheme, so that highlights are grey?"

VP: "Yes"

Me: "Ok, that is good. Hold down the Ctrl key."

VP: "Ok"

Me: "Do not let go of the Ctrl key and click on another contact."

VP: "It didn't work."

We repeat this procedure at least two more times. Finally as we go through it again and we get somewhere.

Me: "Hold down the Ctrl key."

VP: "What Ctrl key?"

Me: "The one on your keyboard."

VP: "Oh, you didn't say that before."

Me: "Does it work now."

VP: "Yes, thanks."

When the call ended I remember sitting there for a few seconds contemplating what just happened. To this day, I still have no idea what key he may have been pushing instead of Ctrl and I've yet to meet someone else who doesn't know what the Ctrl key is while at the office.

Hello McFly...

Do you ever notice that certain people stop listening as soon as anything computer related enters into a conversation?

I choose my words carefully when explaining IT related information to people at our company. My goal is to explain technical material so that it makes sense to a non geek. Most people appreciate that, but a select few seem to be stuck in this weird anti-computer vortex. As soon as I mention anything, their eyes start to glaze over and I know I am losing them.

Sometimes I wonder what is going on in their mind. Are they thinking, "She is such a geek, I have no idea what she is saying." Or maybe it is more like, "I wonder what I should cook for dinner." On the other hand maybe their simple little brain hasn't gotten that far at all. The current thought could be, "Ooooh, look at those lavender Post-It notes. Wow, this is a special place to work."

If you were to consider how things logically progress, then perhaps it might be, "I don't have to listen to this now. I'll just ignore what she is saying and call later to ask for help on every single item she just explained to me." ---Not like that happens on a regular basis.

I know technical stuff can be scary to someone who is not the most computer savvy, but at least open your mind and give us a chance to teach. We don't ask you hard code you ip address or edit your registry. We're explaining how to change your password and login to the office from home.

Deja Vu

L: "Remember, awhile back I mentioned that it seemed like my Palm was adding duplicate entries to my calendar?"

M: "Yes, I do."

L: "Well, I haven't been using my Palm for a few weeks and there are still duplicate events in my calendar."

M: "Ok."

L: "I have this re-occurring meeting that someone sends out and there are 5 of them."

M: "Is there a chance the person actually messed up and sent out 5? Maybe instead of updating the existing one, they sent out new ones."

L: "I don't know. It is so strange that my calendar would automatically duplicate events."

M: "Do they all look the same? The calendar really has no way to automatically duplicate items."

L: "I'll check."

M: "If not, then maybe this is a left over set of duplicates from the Palm sync issue."

(Puzzled look from user)

M: "When you delete a re-occurring event, you have the option to delete this one, or all events. Maybe when you cleaned up last time, you only deleted the one time event, rather than re-occurring."

L: "I try that and let you know."

@$*&@*&%&#%#&$(%)! Do you really believe that Outlook randomly duplicates data in the calendar? Outlook is just lounging around one day and decides, "Hey, I'll duplicate this re-occurring event just to piss him off." Give me a break...

Does The Date Really Matter?

Oh yes, the call from yesterday that made me want to begin this all...

The user is working offsite at a construction project for a few months. Let me point out that this particular person took a laptop with them and never actually requested IT to set up any kind of remote access. Two days ago, I lost a few hours on the phone setting up VPN and dial-up access remotely. I did explain that they could come in and it would only take a few minutes for me or someone else to setup, but they did not want to drive into any of our locations. Instead, we wasted 2-3 hours of time while I struggled to get things working from afar. (The call began at 4:30pm, I might add.)

VPN worked fine the other day and the call is because VPN is now not working at their temporary residence with a cable modem. First we trouble shoot:

Does Internet work? Yes.
Does VPN say it is connected? Yes.
Is Outlook able to get email? Yes.
Can you get to servers? No.
Is offline files enabled? No.
Weird...
Can you ping one of the servers? Yes, it responds.

So why wouldn't you be able to get to the server if you can see it and it can see you and email works? It was a perplexing issue. Finally I decided that it would be best for me to remotely connect to the computer which is easy since they were connected to VPN.

I remote desktop to the laptop and login as the user. I receive an error that states I can't login because the date and time on the computer are incorrect. WTF? So I say to the person on the phone, "Is there any chance you looked at the clock calendar and accidentally changed the date?" The response is no, the date is fine. I ask them to check anyway and I get, "Oh, it is set to June. I must have changed it when I looked at something last night...ha ha, is that all it is?"

Of course it worked fine and that was all it was. 30 minutes down the tubes because they changed their calendar and didn't click cancel.

Setting Up A New Employee

So this morning I received a phone call from a manager about a new employee who starts next week. His laptop arrived this morning and I was getting ready to start setting it up. The question is, "Can I setup his email now before he starts, so that they can send him stuff?" Sure, that is definitely not an issue. I can understand why they might want to do that. The next request is that I send the new password to the manager and cc the new employee.

Well I can, but what is the point? He won't be able to read the email anyway. I pointed this out and the manager chuckled and said, "Yeah, that's right. I guess I'll call him tonight with the password."

It all begins...

I've been threatening to create this site for awhile and yesterday I had a rather frustrating phone support call that made me decide to officially kick this off. I'm not sure why people seem to be so technically challenged. I'm not expecting everyone to be an expert, but some level of competence is not an unreal expectation.

Of course this morning I received another phone call that really warranted a write up, so I will start with that one.